I am laying in my bed right now and i cant fall asleep I really want to sleep, but I just cant! I do not know why I cant sleep, but one thing I do know is that it is making me think, and if there is one thing I hate it is when I start to think in this way. It is not like I am starting to think of some logical problems or anything, no it is that I am starting to think about how small I am, and that I aint worth more than a pile of dust under the carpet. I am really feeling like I aint worth anything, like every one hates me, and why shouldnt they hate me I have never done anything for them, but I have been taking there time to make them listen to my complaints. I am thinking about that knife on my table that beatifull knife allways laying there sharp and ready to cut, cut in me cut, making the blood flow and take all the problems with it when it starts dripping onto the floor, stain my bed with the drops. I want it so badly but at the sametime I dont because then my sister might find out how bad I am having it right now, and I just dont want to trouble her or anyone else with these problems I have. So if you are reading this and usually keeps pretending you care about me, just stop it I dont want anyone to pretend they care about me. I know how unworthy I am, to have friends. I know how I allways treat people bad, and how I always hurt people. I do not need you to pitty me and pretending to care so stop it, before I release those demons inside of me, those demons I ahve made. I know that everyone should hate me for being such a jerk.
Destroy your soul- just be a shell!
Sajro
No comments:
Post a Comment