Today has just been one of those days...
... One of those days, where everything just goes plain wrong. Just to telle you this day in short, because I don't have the energy to write everything that have happen, and as it really happened.
1. I woke up, and my back and my neck was hurting like they wanted to explode.
2. I was up a bit too late, so I had to run to school, but on my way I ran tinto a lightpost...
3. I tripped up some stairs...
4. I stumbled down some stairs...
5. My legs started to hurt really bad...
6. I slipped on some ice...
7. My back and neck never stopped hurting...
I dont have anymore to say, to this...
... Than, fuck my life and please some one take my back...
Body, is a prison of pain...
Sajro
23 February 2012
20 February 2012
I am an addict...
Yes I feel like I am and addict, but not of some usual stuff, like alocohol, drugs or things like that. I am not addicted to that kind of things. Maybe it is going to sound a bit weird that I am an addict, to what it is I am an addict to.
I am an addict to texting, not just texting but texting with a special person. I normally dont go a single day without texting this person, so I do not realise it, but today I have not texted her, and because of that I am going through some sort of withdraw, and that might seem weird but I am actually doing I am feeling weird and stuff like that, my heart is racing on, and I really dont know what to do, just hoping she is going to answer me.
Your friends are dangerous...
Sajro
I am an addict to texting, not just texting but texting with a special person. I normally dont go a single day without texting this person, so I do not realise it, but today I have not texted her, and because of that I am going through some sort of withdraw, and that might seem weird but I am actually doing I am feeling weird and stuff like that, my heart is racing on, and I really dont know what to do, just hoping she is going to answer me.
Your friends are dangerous...
Sajro
8 February 2012
Why not?
Why shouldn't I make a post about how my day have been today?
So that I am going to do right know, I will tell you how my day have been today.
Lets start from the beggining. I woke up with my back hurting as usual so I didn't really care about it, but I did care about the dream I had this night. The dream was ectremely weird, and I have not yet been able to figure out what I should think about it.
In this dream I was in another dimension, and I was not allowed to leave before at had solved something, but I was allowed to get help from this dimension, so my friends came to help, but they all died of some weird things, but they kept coming and I kept seeing them die, with nothing to do about it.
Then I went to school, and had my classes as I was supposed to, but then in a break I was playing with a tape measure, and I pullede it out to fulle length and made it slip back, but then it cut my finger about 1 - 2 millimeter deep.
That have been the highlights of my day.
Please don't hurt your body.
Sajro
So that I am going to do right know, I will tell you how my day have been today.
Lets start from the beggining. I woke up with my back hurting as usual so I didn't really care about it, but I did care about the dream I had this night. The dream was ectremely weird, and I have not yet been able to figure out what I should think about it.
In this dream I was in another dimension, and I was not allowed to leave before at had solved something, but I was allowed to get help from this dimension, so my friends came to help, but they all died of some weird things, but they kept coming and I kept seeing them die, with nothing to do about it.
Then I went to school, and had my classes as I was supposed to, but then in a break I was playing with a tape measure, and I pullede it out to fulle length and made it slip back, but then it cut my finger about 1 - 2 millimeter deep.
That have been the highlights of my day.
Please don't hurt your body.
Sajro
2 February 2012
Happiness...
... It is true. To day I am actually very happy for once. I am happy and for that I can than a friend of mine. This friend texted with me about nothing, and a lot, some of the things we texted about was really just nothing at all, just smalltalk yo pass time and put the thoughts away. We did talk about some stuff that wasnt just small talk, because as you should have figured out I arent the happiest person in the world, and I do have my problems. I must say that at some points I am happy that I have been through these problems, because if I hadn't been through them, I might never have gone to the school I was at last year, and then I wouldnt have met my new friends including this girl I texted to lastnight.
I am in a good mood to day, as I told you before and I am just hoping it will last for the rest of the day. I get tired when I am in a bad mood, but I dont want to sleep, because when I lay in my bed at night I often start to feel alone, and I will be afraid of sleeping because if I am feeling really alone, my sleep often becomes uneasy and filled with nightmares. That isn't the only reason why I dont want to go to sleep, because when I am feeling alone the knife or razorblade I have often start to seem so comforting, understandable, easy, warm and calming.
But what I want to say is actually that I have had a good sleep this night because of that I never felt alone when I went to sleep, and I dint feel alone because my friend, this girl was texting with me untill I felt asleep. This was the best sleep I have had for a while.
Remember this, I learned this just by what happenede yesterday:
Lock the good times in a clear diamond box, so you can look back at them but they will never get out, and you will never lose them.
Protect your soul - and the good times.
Sajro
I am in a good mood to day, as I told you before and I am just hoping it will last for the rest of the day. I get tired when I am in a bad mood, but I dont want to sleep, because when I lay in my bed at night I often start to feel alone, and I will be afraid of sleeping because if I am feeling really alone, my sleep often becomes uneasy and filled with nightmares. That isn't the only reason why I dont want to go to sleep, because when I am feeling alone the knife or razorblade I have often start to seem so comforting, understandable, easy, warm and calming.
But what I want to say is actually that I have had a good sleep this night because of that I never felt alone when I went to sleep, and I dint feel alone because my friend, this girl was texting with me untill I felt asleep. This was the best sleep I have had for a while.
Remember this, I learned this just by what happenede yesterday:
Lock the good times in a clear diamond box, so you can look back at them but they will never get out, and you will never lose them.
Protect your soul - and the good times.
Sajro
1 February 2012
Yeah you know the drill...
... Or maybe you dont.
Yes you kind of now how this post is gonna be because this is not going to be some peace loving, oh I am so happy post. This post will still be me, and when it is me I am sorry to say it but, it just cant be happy posts.
I am not a happy personl. I once was a happy person, but some boys from my early school, quicly took that way and smashed it to the ground, and started to jump on it, together with the rest of my feelings.
I am a stupid person, even though I am smart, I act stupid and say stupid things to people. To prove it you could take a look at this girl I know, most of the time when I write something to this girl there is three options of what I am writing.
I might write something unrelevant, like good morning og good night.
I might write something because I need attention, and I feel sorry for my self.
And last I might write something where I call her stupid, clumbsy or other stuff lie that.
I am filled with hatred. A hatred to me, the people who have bullied me but also to the people who call them my friends. I hate my friends because they are way to good to me, and I dont feel like I deserve it because I hate myself as well.
I am a closed person, to most people. I have only opened to a few people, and non of them have I opened to completely. There is three people who I have really opened myself to, one is the girl I mentioned earlier in this post, another one is a boy from my school who helped me and last but definitely not least another girl who as well have helped me a lot.
I am a monster. I at least see my self as a monster, a monster leech who lives on my friends. Just to keep my self up from sinking to the bottom I have to use them, and by doing that I am pushing them downwards closer to that thing I am trying to escape.
But...
I do have a heart, and some times I would wish I did not. I have a lot of mixed up feelings every day. I wake up and I am totally neutral, but then I always sents a text to this one girl. When I have sent the text I am feeling differently, then I am in a better mood, but also in a worse mood. I am in a better mood because I have friends like her,but in a worse because we still are away from eachother.
And to end this post, I have a little poem I wrote.
I am walking down the stream.
The stream so fresh but warm.
I follow the stream to the source.
I walk out in the middle to spring.
I cant resist to taste it.
I love the taste, the taste of iron.
At this point I realize where I am.
I realize I am on my own arm.
I had walked from my palm up my arm.
I realize it isn't water, it is my own blood.
That is the last I realize before I let i come.
Before I let the darkness come and subdue me.
I am still trying to keep my soul together.
Sajro
Yes you kind of now how this post is gonna be because this is not going to be some peace loving, oh I am so happy post. This post will still be me, and when it is me I am sorry to say it but, it just cant be happy posts.
I am not a happy personl. I once was a happy person, but some boys from my early school, quicly took that way and smashed it to the ground, and started to jump on it, together with the rest of my feelings.
I am a stupid person, even though I am smart, I act stupid and say stupid things to people. To prove it you could take a look at this girl I know, most of the time when I write something to this girl there is three options of what I am writing.
I might write something unrelevant, like good morning og good night.
I might write something because I need attention, and I feel sorry for my self.
And last I might write something where I call her stupid, clumbsy or other stuff lie that.
I am filled with hatred. A hatred to me, the people who have bullied me but also to the people who call them my friends. I hate my friends because they are way to good to me, and I dont feel like I deserve it because I hate myself as well.
I am a closed person, to most people. I have only opened to a few people, and non of them have I opened to completely. There is three people who I have really opened myself to, one is the girl I mentioned earlier in this post, another one is a boy from my school who helped me and last but definitely not least another girl who as well have helped me a lot.
I am a monster. I at least see my self as a monster, a monster leech who lives on my friends. Just to keep my self up from sinking to the bottom I have to use them, and by doing that I am pushing them downwards closer to that thing I am trying to escape.
But...
I do have a heart, and some times I would wish I did not. I have a lot of mixed up feelings every day. I wake up and I am totally neutral, but then I always sents a text to this one girl. When I have sent the text I am feeling differently, then I am in a better mood, but also in a worse mood. I am in a better mood because I have friends like her,but in a worse because we still are away from eachother.
And to end this post, I have a little poem I wrote.
I am walking down the stream.
The stream so fresh but warm.
I follow the stream to the source.
I walk out in the middle to spring.
I cant resist to taste it.
I love the taste, the taste of iron.
At this point I realize where I am.
I realize I am on my own arm.
I had walked from my palm up my arm.
I realize it isn't water, it is my own blood.
That is the last I realize before I let i come.
Before I let the darkness come and subdue me.
I am still trying to keep my soul together.
Sajro
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