To day I am having a real bad day...
I am sitting at home, this time I am sitting at my childhood home, in my bed alone in the house. I dont know what to do, other than texting with a certain person, but she doesnt answer me...
I hate when she does not answer me, because then I start to think, and when I start to think I start to feel like a loser with no friends and nothing in my life that is worth living for...
I dont do stupid things like suicide because deep inside I am still hoping for that special thing to happen, the thing that would make me a happy person or atleast help me to become a happy person...
But I am 99% sure that, it is never going to happen. Then if i never happens I should just forget how badly I want it to happen. Then again if I do not believe it is possible I could pull "it" off, and that would not be good, because I am afraid what i would do to my friends...
My friends, here we are only realitively speaking because I am still not sure if I have any real friends, or if they are my friends just to make me feel that somone cares about me...
It is hard to feel that way, because it keeps running around my head that it is the only reason they act like my friends, but if they really are my friends I would hate myself for ever having thought this about them...
Yeah I am having a bad day, so I would love to sleep but I dont dare I am so afraid of it...
Your body is the prison of your soul... It is also the shield of your soul...
Sajro
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