Yeah this is how I am feeling right know...
I am feeling really alone, and feeling alone for me often leads to something stupid, which often is cutting. This is often how I start to feel when I dont have my friends to talk to, and I am afraid of talking to them, mostly because my doctor never meant there was anything seriously wrong with me...
When my doctor didn't blelieve that anything was really wrong with me, I started believing that I was just being stupid and I should just handle this my self. I have sort of started to belive that I am just fooling myself bt thinking that I should have help, and even thinking that talking with my friends is just bullshit...
And on top of this I am really just ragin out, and I want to scream, but I can't make myself scream because I have people living in the same building as me, and they shouldn't hear me screaming. Because of me being so furious and that I am raging out like this, I am afraid of talking to my friend, but on the other hand I really wan't to speak to her, but if I hurt her I am really going to break, and that would be for good...
Life... Death... Body... Soul... Faith... Weakness... What is the difference?..
Sajro
I just want you to know that your entries in this blog scared but also touched me. I wish there was some way i could help you with all this shit.
ReplyDeleteI can't say i know how you feel, because i have never been bullied on the scale that you have.
The only bullying i have tried is being ignored by everyone in my elementary school, and people talking behind my back and occasional name-calling and not having many friends. But that is not nearly compareable to what you have been through
I will be checking this blog from time to time and see how you progress.
Godspeed (not that i am religious :P)
-Another lonely person from BE.