The friend...

I hate myself today, because of how I have been acting and treated a friend of mine. She is, right now, the dearest I care about.

She tries to help me ande make me feel better, but I just wont listen to her. I cant make myself listen to her. She can tell me I am a good person and a very good friend, but I just dont believe her.

I am, in my own head, a monster. I am a monster worse than serial killers and mass murderes. I often reach that point where not even my friends meen anything to me. I can sit and think about how I would like them to die, or at least just disappear, but often I realise that the only right thing would be if I died or disappeared and not them.

I am afraid that I am going to cut myself again... I have this feeling that I have done so much wrong today and yesterday, that I can only make it disappear by bleeding i t out... I am going to wait some time before sleeping so I might not do it...

Protect your friends... Form yourself.
Sajro