Once again I have to ask the question why, and this time it is, why, to a lot of things. I keep asking my self why do I even have friends when I cant do anything good for them, Instead I just keep dragging them down towards my level of life. It is not easy being me, but my life is easy compared to their life. I have them to rely on but the only thing the can rely on is that I am going to drag them down.
Then I am going to ask why is it the I am so hard to hurt, why is that even that person that boy I am seeing as my very best friend keeps hurting me, not like I am asking why he is doing it but more like why do I let him do it. I hate it, I really hat my life when that happens, everything else that have been happening is nothing compared to the pain when he manages to hurt me, and it is easy for him, because hw knows so many of my secrets and they hold the power to destroy me.
Then I would like to ask this. Why is that I have to have feelings for someone I know I can never get. Why cant i just remove those feelings. I really vant do it, and when I try I sometimes manage to lock thos feelings away, but then I see her face on a picture or I see her name, and those feelings come rushing in on me again, and they hurt me, I am really afraid that I have to cut all connection to her, even when I know how hard that is gonna be for me, but maybe I should just tell her that I cant be friends with her anymore because I am afraid she is going to crush me from my inside and out, not because I think she is trying to do so, but because what she brings up in me, is making me crush my self.
Listen to you feelings... And when they are done complaining... Destroy them.
Sajro
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