Rainbows and razors

Yeah I am not sure why I decided to write a post here today. :)

I haven't had a bad day for several months now, the only bad thing is me missing a certain person. But This post is just going to be me telling what is on my mind, so this is going to be puking razors and wire, but also rainbows and unicorns. xD

But anyway I found out a shocking news, a friend of my suddenly has started to act like a weirdo, being an ass to people and it really shocked me, I feel like something bad has happened to him, like someone or something have taken control of him and his life. This makes me sad and I cannot decide wether to confront him or not.

But I am also happy because this weekend have been amazing I was visitting my girlfriend. I both hate and love being in a relationship across the country, because that feel when you are finally together beats everything, but being aparts makes my heart ache and hurt. But as I always say the waiting is worth the reward.

Do what you love!
Sajro

Long time since my last post...

Yeah it have been A long time since my last post...

I just wanted to give you a new post again, but it will be a short one...

I feel alot better than before, my selfesteem have been going up for good! ^^

Well that is it... ^^

Find what you need for better selfesteem...
Sajro

My life is strange...

My decision...

I have today taken a decision...

I have this friendship with a girl, and I have been really confused about it... I love this friendship, but I am afraid it will end up hurting eachother...

I am feeling this friendship braking up because of me... And maybe it is the best that could happen for both of us...

... But I have made the decision that I won't give up on this friendship... I will do everything I can to keep this friendship.

Keep ypur friends...
Sajro

Alone...

Yeah this is how I am feeling right know...

I am feeling really alone, and feeling alone for me often leads to something stupid, which often is cutting. This is often how I start to feel when I dont have my friends to talk to, and I am afraid of talking to them, mostly because my doctor never meant there was anything seriously wrong with me...

When my doctor didn't blelieve that anything was really wrong with me, I started believing that I was just being stupid and I should just handle this my self. I have sort of started to belive that I am just fooling myself bt thinking that I should have help, and even thinking that talking with my friends is just bullshit...

And on top of this I am really just ragin out, and I want to scream, but I can't make myself scream because I have people living in the same building as me, and they shouldn't hear me screaming. Because of me being so furious and that I am raging out like this, I am afraid of talking to my friend, but on the other hand I really wan't to speak to her, but if I hurt her I am really going to break, and that would be for good...

Life... Death... Body... Soul... Faith... Weakness... What is the difference?..
Sajro

Short...

This is gonna be an extremely short post...

I have one thing to say, and this is to a certain person...

WHY?!!! FUCK YOU!!!

Why even live... We all gonna die one day...
Sajro

I hate my fucking life...

To day I am having a real bad day...

I am sitting at home, this time I am sitting at my childhood home, in my bed alone in the house. I dont know what to do, other than texting with a certain person, but she doesnt answer me...

I hate when she does not answer me, because then I start to think, and when I start to think I start to feel like a loser with no friends and nothing in my life that is worth living for...

I dont do stupid things like suicide because deep inside I am still hoping for that special thing to happen, the thing that would make me a happy person or atleast help me to become a happy person...

But I am 99% sure that, it is never going to happen. Then if i never happens I should just forget how badly I want it to happen. Then again if I do not believe it is possible I could pull "it" off, and that would not be good, because I am afraid what i would do to my friends...

My friends, here we are only realitively speaking because I am still not sure if I have any real friends, or if they are my friends just to make me feel that somone cares about me...

It is hard to feel that way, because it keeps running around my head that it is the only reason they act like my friends, but if they really are my friends I would hate myself for ever having thought this about them...

Yeah I am having a bad day, so I would love to sleep but I dont dare I am so afraid of it...

Your body is the prison of your soul... It is also the shield of your soul...
Sajro